Monthly Archives: May 2013

What a small, small world

Tonight’s entry brought to you by Mr. Climbing Coach.

I knew I was right! I mean…I guess so.

Throughout my first outdoor bouldering experience yesterday, my coach and I engaged in some serious and deep conversations. Some of it was intense, some was very sensitive, some was straight up strange, funny…we covered it all!

On our way back, and after my coach had anxiously opened up to me more than our blooming embryonic friendship accommodated, “Angel” came up! Really? “Angel”?

There’s a series of entries about “Angel”. The latest one is:

I think we were talking about dating and blah blah blah. Then I went on to say that I’ve been attracting some pretty weird guys. Intelligent and kind guys, but just on the very quirky, or pathologically strange side.

Then I said that one of them was actually the person who introduced me to rock climbing and the rock gym I go to. In a split second, my coach asked me who the guy was. So I said his name…and…

OMG! Yes, I wrote OMG!

I figured my coach would NOT know who “Angel” was, considering “Angel’s” very reserved, borderline Aperger’s personality. Well…it turns out, he does know “Angel” and one of his friends from the gym dated “Angel” a few years ago for some time.

He was baffled! So surprised that I had dated the guy. All I said was “He is a very nice guy, very decent, but just weird…”

My coach said…”Yes, I guess he’s a sweet guy, but I’m almost sure he is agoraphobic. My friend dated him for a bit and…”

I have to admit I was morbidly curious to hear more about “Angel”, but in the same time, I did not want to ask too much. I’m thinking…”Damn, Sassi, how will you subtly probe?”

I said “Hummm….I had a feeling he was actually in the autistic spectrum, maybe Asperger’s. His behavior just screams that. But I wasn’t 100% sure. I thought I might be reading too much into it.”

My coach said “…trust me, you are right. At least from what I’ve heard.”

I paused for a second and asked “Wait, which <insert name> are you talking about?”

He said “Yes! The tall, strange, but sweet guy.”

Damn! Yes, the same one.

I probably shared more than I should with my coach in regards to “Angel”, but I asked him for discretion. I felt kind of bad letting a “stranger” into “Angel’s” life like that. I mean, the guy is ultra reserved and there’s probably a very strong reason for that.

He is trying to hide his “thing”. His potential Asperger’s, or agoraphobia…or whatever else.

It doesn’t help me at all to know whether he has Asperger’s or not, but I have to admit that somewhere in me…something was validated. It sounds bad I know.

I still think “Angel” is a very decent, sweet, and very intelligent man. REGARDLESS of whatever! (guilt…guilt 🙂 )

What a small world…wow!


My very first experience…

<breathing in…breathing out…long steady and relaxing sigh…like a little girl in love…>

For the dirty-minded people…I am not talking about sex! ah!

Today, I had my very first outdoor bouldering experience at Hammond Pond, MA. Yes, I know that for the experienced climbers out there, this may not sound so exciting, but for me…well…IT WAS AWESOME.

I went with my coach (he doesn’t actually know I gave him this title). What a good soul, awesome climber, warted ho pushed me to challenge my “newborn” limits in a very nurturing way.

I finished all the problems he pointed out to me. In reality they were not that difficult, but the combination of being in a less controlled environment, going pretty high up the rocks with no ropes, while soaking in the whole experience, was both adrenaline-pumping and overwhelming at times.

My coach asked me: “How are you with fear?”

I said: “Humm…well…I’m pretty good with fear…” (not knowing exactly if that answered his question at all).

So he took me to the side where the boulders were higher and the problems a bit trickier (for a beginner anyways).

As the minutes passed, and we topped out the easier problems, he guided me to a more difficult one. I watched as intently as I could as he climbed to the top. As always, as soon as it was my turn, I had forgotten the very first few moves. I think I must have used different holds and positioning in every one of my climbs. Not entirely different, but what felt less foreign to my body and how it moves.

There was ONE problem that I tried three times before completing it. I was getting so frustrated with myself at one point that my coach suggested that I try an easier one just so I felt better about myself.

I did it, I finished the easier one, then I tried the unfinished problem once again and I GOT IT. Not without a bit of struggle and a remote feeling of anxiety mixed with excitement, and a feeling of accomplishment.

At one point, I looked at my hands and some of my fingers were bleeding. I ripped the older calluses right off. I really didn’t feel it. It must have been the adrenaline.

While most of the holds were pretty sweet and “juggy”, the rock was very jagged and definitely hurt my hands. Awesome!

In the 3+ hours that we hung out and boldered, my coach and I had some very intense, serious, funny, and strange conversations. He’s a pretty intelligent man, but with some serious struggles in his life…with himself. I let him talk. I liked hearing it and the fact that he felt comfortable enough with me to open up that much.

As always, I guided the conversation with some very pivotal questions along our dialogue. I warned him that I do ask “uncomfortable”/intimate questions sometimes, but that he could choose not to answer them and  would not be offended at all. And so I did, and he answered every one of them. He liked it too. My questions showed him, loud and clear, that I was actually listening to him. Participating.

So he guided me…and I guided him…in different ways…or maybe not different at all.

I loved my first experience outdoors!

Thank you coach!