Deconstructing

I have decided to stop all the daydreaming with my “angel”. You know…I can do that. Not sure if it’s a good or a bad thing to be able control certain mental faculties this way.

I’m worried that it’s become more than daydreaming…hahahaha…hummmm borderline fixation or something strange like that.

Since it ceased being beneficial to me, I will no longer spend hours every day musing away.

“Angel”, I will stop having long imagined dialogues with you, your friends, your family…I will stop making love to you every night…I will stop having orgasms with you…I will stop climbing and bouldering the hardest problems in the most beautiful places with you. You will even have to stop proposing to me when we reach the summit of that seemingly impossible climb. I will stop singing and playing some mean guitar for you, in sold out gigs, in which everybody knows that you’re my inspiration.

What will I do to fill my hours now? I mean, the pleasant, benevolent, serene, passionate, and happiness generating, wild daydreaming.

I’ll just have to pick from my infinitely long list of interesting topics, people, situations…

“Angel”, you’ve helped me so much for the past 14 or so months. You brought me so much creativity, light to unvisited places, clarity, kindness, gentleness, intelligence, annoyance, irritation, perplexity, even blows to my ego…but what a mind experiment you’ve been. Thank you!

How do I do it?

Well! The same way that I deliberately embarked on this experience.

It takes some effort as I’m just so used to allow you in my thoughts, on a daily basis, for the past several months. But it’s been done before.

It’s too bad. I was having so much fun.

Au revoir! Merci!

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