Monthly Archives: January 2013

Warp driving to my stillness…

I need to write something about how I’ve been feeling lately. I feel like every atom in my body is racing agilely toward and away from one another at their sustained prestissimo tempo.

Could it be the culmination of many important decisions in my life closing in to their ultimate inception(s)?

How about the momentum I have created which is propelling me, seemingly effortlessly, while I somehow shamefully resist with my humanly anxious doubts? Oh…but the curiosity is as great as this forwarding force.

I feel really good, but this pace cannot be sustained…I don’t think so…or can it?

My ideas, reasonings, experiences are cross-pollinating themselves. Can all of this action conceive something completely new? My thoughts and impressions are synapsing, causing some occasional short-circuits…and I must admit to an almost uncomfortable level.

I’ve been trying to reach some stillness. But in my attempts I end up injecting more impulses to my warp speed existence. I am able to disconnect for the 1 to 2 hours when I’m, for instance, listening to very loud music while I dance in front of the mirror prentending to be an awesome singer and guitar player…or maybe sequencing the hand holds before I attempt to climb a more challenging wall…or when I’m trying my best to look graceful and sensual as I attempt a move on a pole…or as I’m concentrating on my pranayama and asanas during yoga…and more recently, as I climb circus silks or a trapeze, and attempt inversions while hanging in the air…OH…or when I’m driving a very curvey road from sea level to 10,000+ feet to see the  majestic sunrise from some volcano crater…trying to keep my balance on a paddle board in the middle of a choppy ocean, while looking for sea turtles, whales…and the likes.

Let’s not forget hours of daily youthful daydreaming that could serve as inspiration for the most experienced poets…and erotically melt anyone.

I can experience the ephemeral inertia…but later realize that it adds to the momentum, to the unorthodox connections between ideas…it propels me forward.

It’s interesting that I don’t feel rushed. I just feel like all of this is really new to me.

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Just for the record…

I still want to be with him!

Damn it!

 


Gotta get it out of my system! Might as well do it here!

Hi <angel>,

How have you been? I hope your year is going well and that you find an awesome job this year.

Since, you fingerprinted this part of my life, and a few others, which I’m thankful for, I thought I’d keep you posted…

<yeah right! It’s a lame excuse to write you! 🙂 >

As you know I applied to: Harvard, Brandeiss, BU, Brown, and Univ of Colorado.

So far, no answers yet as some of the deadlines are still upcoming. I should start hearing by mid-to-late february.

Changing gears a bit. Dan, from the Rock Gym, mentioned this rock gym in Hyde Park called Rock Spot Climbing (http://www.rockspotclimbing.com/facilities/). Maybe this is closer to where you work (?). Just wanted to share.

I read about the rock gym they’re opening in Somerville. It’s actually that space where the paper factory used to be (Ames). The space huge! It’s pretty much the same complexwhere I go for aerial acrobatics…and it’s a good spot I guess.

Anyways…any news on your end? Please do share…

I can’t do the radical thing of cutting people just like that from my life. It’s silly…ok…it’s plain stupid.

<sassi the spider>

_______________________________________________________________

Ok! I satisfied my urge to write him today!

We’ll see when I have to visit this blog again!


The wait is killing me already!

Chances are, you haven’t really read my other posts. It’s not like I’m famous or anything. However, if you know anything about me, you’ll know that after 2 years of incessant thinking, I decided to apply for PhD programs in health policy.

Most of my applications are in! I hear most of the schools start sending out their smoke signals by mid- to late- february.

I’m usually good at maintaining my calm under pressure, but it’s only January 7th, and the millions of thoughts are already emerging in my head. This is kind of a HUGE step for me in so many different levels I can’t even explain! It’s exciting and a bit scary all in the same time.

What do I do? I’m thinking yoga, rock climbing, pole dancing, and more yoga, rock climbing, and pole dancing! Anything in the name of not going crazy while waiting for the answers from the programs. To make things crazier, I’m only applying to 4 or 5 programs, which is a little nuts of me!

All I can say is that I really hope I’ll get in one of the programs!

Oh…and believe it or not, my most recent love/infatuation, who by the way, did NOT correspond to my charming invitation for a relationship…also seems to be competing for space in my already “thoughts-filled” head. I’m turning that into some day dreaming…Yep! I do that a lot! It’s so magical!

🙂

I’ll keep you all posted!

 


I feel grand!

Going on my third week on Chantix!

No smoking for about 2 weeks. It’s great news!

It’s nausea galore! But well worth the effort.

I really should write more…there’s so much brewing inside my head!

I’ll save it for another post that doesn’t mix with my quit smoking efforts! 🙂