I need to write something about how I’ve been feeling lately. I feel like every atom in my body is racing agilely toward and away from one another at their sustained prestissimo tempo.
Could it be the culmination of many important decisions in my life closing in to their ultimate inception(s)?
How about the momentum I have created which is propelling me, seemingly effortlessly, while I somehow shamefully resist with my humanly anxious doubts? Oh…but the curiosity is as great as this forwarding force.
I feel really good, but this pace cannot be sustained…I don’t think so…or can it?
My ideas, reasonings, experiences are cross-pollinating themselves. Can all of this action conceive something completely new? My thoughts and impressions are synapsing, causing some occasional short-circuits…and I must admit to an almost uncomfortable level.
I’ve been trying to reach some stillness. But in my attempts I end up injecting more impulses to my warp speed existence. I am able to disconnect for the 1 to 2 hours when I’m, for instance, listening to very loud music while I dance in front of the mirror prentending to be an awesome singer and guitar player…or maybe sequencing the hand holds before I attempt to climb a more challenging wall…or when I’m trying my best to look graceful and sensual as I attempt a move on a pole…or as I’m concentrating on my pranayama and asanas during yoga…and more recently, as I climb circus silks or a trapeze, and attempt inversions while hanging in the air…OH…or when I’m driving a very curvey road from sea level to 10,000+ feet to see the majestic sunrise from some volcano crater…trying to keep my balance on a paddle board in the middle of a choppy ocean, while looking for sea turtles, whales…and the likes.
Let’s not forget hours of daily youthful daydreaming that could serve as inspiration for the most experienced poets…and erotically melt anyone.
I can experience the ephemeral inertia…but later realize that it adds to the momentum, to the unorthodox connections between ideas…it propels me forward.
It’s interesting that I don’t feel rushed. I just feel like all of this is really new to me.